STORIES ABOUT MEN NOT NAMED JON

STORIES ABOUT MEN NOT NAMED JON I shared the story about a boy named Jon (Read it here), because it happened, and it affected me. I felt it was an important story to tell, one that showcased the good that can come out of a shitty situation and how it made me stronger.

BUT, if you are reading this and you too have Alopecia, I do not want you to get the impression that every guy is a Jon. That is simply not the case. In fact, most every guy is NOT a Jon. Most every guy I have crossed paths with is kind and wonderful and could care less if I have hair or not.

Lets get to some stories that will bring back a little faith shall we?

BILL  He was the first guy I ever had to tell. I was 22, my hair had fallen out about 4 months before I started dating Bill. We worked in a restaurant together, he had always known me with my real hair or a wig. I was extremely nervous to tell him. Or any guy for that matter.

My hair had just fallen out, I did not feel beautiful at all, and I really liked this guy. What was he going to say? Was he still going to be interested in me?

Bill was wonderful. I told him in the car as he dropped me off one evening. It was honestly no big deal to him, I took off my wig, he smiled, told me I was beautiful and pulled me in to kiss the top of my head. He really set the tone for me at a time when I really needed it. He will probably never really know the impact his kindness and actions had on me and my life.

I want to thank Bill, because he made me feel beautiful at a time when no one else could.

MIGUEL Miguel is not someone I have dated, Miguel is my best male friend, we met in college. He was on the soccer field that night I got laid out on the field and rolled over only to see my wig laying next to me. In the middle of the field. At my coed soccer game. Before any of my male teammates knew I had lost my hair. Talk about mortified.

I ran off the field, and sat on the bench the remaining minutes of the game, stone cold in the face, taking absolutely everything in me to not burst into tears.

The game ended. None of the guys really knew what to say, I mumbled like one sentence about how I have Alopecia but I am healthy then made a VERY quick exit to my car to cry.

Miguel sent me a message that night saying "Colleen, I love you, you are my best friend and you are beautiful with or without hair"

I cannot even tell you how this made me feel. It made me feel special, loved, beautiful, but I think most of all.. it made me feel like I was going to be OK.

I want to Thank Miguel for being an amazing friend, who always knows how to pick a girl up when she is down.

COREY Corey is a story of a guy I had always known, before and after my hair had fallen out. We started seeing each other when all I ever wore was a headband. He was never put off or uninterested in me because I did not have hair or even ever wear wigs. He took every opportunity to show me off to his friends and I remember I asked him once what he thought of dating a bald girl, he replied "I don't even think about it, it has never even occurred to me, I look at you and all I see is you" I want to thank Corey, for never once caring about anything other than the person I am, and always liked me for me.

COLIN  I like the Colin story. Colin is a guy I met out at a happy hour a couple months before I left for this trip. Other than the fact that Colin is a Michigan Wolverine.. he is pretty cool. I casually dropped that I had Alopecia to Colin over a couple pints of Guinness one night. I told him how my hair fell out at 22, I am healthy, and its been rewarding to help other women through the same struggle. He responded by saying "Ya know what, that is all really beautiful, I admire you for that." Then Colin paused and went on to ask a super simple question. But it was a question that NO other guy had ever asked me before. He looked me in the eyes and asked

"So, what was that all like?" I was almost caught off guard. I have had a lot of really wonderful responses from guys before, as I have noted above, and I genuinely know they do not care if I have hair, but I think on some level they are nervous or uncomfortable to really ask me about it. When Colin asked me what it was really like to have all of my hair fall out I remember saying in my head "THANK YOU, thank you for asking." Later he went on to share something personal with me, that I could tell was difficult for him to talk about, and I so much appreciated that and was happy he felt like he could share something like that with me. It brought us closer. By the end of the night he had made a couple jokes about me being bald and again in my head I was just like "THANK YOU, you get it, thank you." So I want to thank Colin, thank you for not being afraid to ask, joke or talk about my Alopecia. It meant more than you know.

DANIEL No one had ever made me feel as beautiful and brilliant as he did, from the very first moment. Standing there with no hair and no make up, his eyes found mine for the first time and he instantly made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the room. I had never had anyone truly look inside before out, but that is just Daniel.

OTHERS Like I mentioned above most guys are NOT a Jon. I've met guys when I have been wearing hair and told them about my alopecia 4 sentences in that have gone on to ask me out. Ive met guys while not wearing hair that have gone on to ask me out. Ive met guys that have thought it was hysterical that I dressed up as Doctor Evil for halloween...

I was once going out with a guy and on like date 2 I told him about my hair and he goes “Colleen, its 2016, if you think I have not stalked your LinkdIn profile by now you are crazy. You are bald, I already knew this, its fine, you look great” That one made me laugh. Once, I met a guy at a baseball game while wearing hair, I never told him I had Alopecia, on our 3rd date I showed up in just a headband … Looking back I cannot help but giggle that I did that. But you know what.. he could not have cared less!! I have met guys that were initially attracted to me solely because of the way I own being bald and the confidence I carry about it. Guys that prefer I do not wear my wig.

I get why the topic of dating with Alopecia is inquired about so often. Dating is hard enough, all the other little insecurities one may have about themselves are hard enough, then to throw being a bald woman into the mix.. it is exhausting. It has taken me some time to gain my confidence surrounding dating as a bald woman. I still have my days. But I am here to tell you it gets better, and the right guy is out there waiting for you, the guy that will not look at you and think “Hair, no hair, bald” He will simply look at you and see “you.”

Feel free to send me a message in the below contact box! What was your favorite part of this post? I would love to hear from you!