What Being Bald Has Taught Me
Being bald has taught me..
SO.MUCH.
Alopecia Awareness month is coming to a close, so I thought I would take this opportunity to share what my Alopecia has taught me..
I lost all of my hair when I was 22, out of no where, all within the span of 30 days. I have a condition called Alopecia. Alopecia is an autoimmune disease causing hair loss on the scalp, face and sometimes other areas of the body. I am a perfectly healthy individual I just simply do not have any hair on my head!
I was a college student studying for finals in the library when I noticed my hair falling out all over my books, 30 days later it was New Years Eve of 2010 and I had no hair left. I was scared and embarrassed.
I was a woman, I needed my hair, it was part of my identity. Or so I thought.
Sometimes I look back and I do not quite know how I did it, but somehow in a pretty short amount of time I found something inside myself that simply decided..
I was not going to let alopecia control my life.
I decided to embrace being bald, to own it, to foster a positive relationship with my Alopecia. What I chose to gain from Alopecia has shaped a major part of me and I have grown to take pride in my shiny bald head.
Being bald has taught me ..
Strength. Alopecia has made me a stronger individual. I am constantly stared at, questioned, profiled, or even made fun of at times. I have learned to find my brave. To not let the stares or opinions of people who do not know me, bother me. Alopecia has allowed me to find a strength I have never know. It has taught me that I can face anything head on, and come out okay on the other side. To not let anyone or anything get me down, to hold my head high. Those stares and negativity do not matter. They just don't.
Confidence. Holy shit has being bald forced me to specifically embrace the issue of self confidence head on. I was determined not to let being bald hinder my self confidence. It is not always easy, and at times it takes everything in me. But I put my chin up, headband on, and I own it. I rock it. And you know what I learned... people admire this. They look at me and say wow, she is brave, look how confident she is, that is fantastic. Even days when I didn’t feel so confident, I put on a brave face and faked it. Faked it until I made it, and the reactions of others eventually helped me to become fully self confident. Not that I don’t still have my days..
I learned to be myself and no one else.
I learned to do me, and only me. I don’t want to be anyone else (well okay maybe sometimes I want to be Taylor Swift..). Being yourself is so important. You will never be fulfilled trying to be someone you are not. People will see right through you. Be authentic. Be unique. Be you. Being you is a quality only you can have! It is something people enjoy, admire and like most about you, trust me. When you learn to be yourself and no one else, you find freedom.
What is actually important in this life we lead.
Your hair, the color of your eyes, your clothing, your athletic ability, the car you own, the amount of money you make, your job title. None of that is important, none of that defines you. It is all temporary and in turn brings temporary highs. What is important is living your life for yourself and your loved ones. What matters are the relationships you build, the love you give, and the way you treat others.
No amount of money or possessions brings you actual happiness. Shiny new things eventually get boring or old and leave you wanting the next shiny new thing. I've learned to focus on the things that won't get old or go out of style and cannot be replaced. Like your experiences, a positive attitude and your loved ones.
Not to judge others.
You never know what someone is going through. You cannot make assumptions about someone based on their physical appearance, things you hear, or before you know them. You are missing out on so many wonderful people by being judgmental.
Kindness. Be kind to everyone and anyone, all the time, always. You will be a happier and more successful person because of it. 100%.
A smile goes a long way. A smile eases someones mind immediately. It breaks down barriers and welcomes friendly interaction and conversation. I catch so many people staring at me, and when I do I always make sure to shoot them a great big smile. One, so that they do not feel bad about me catching them staring at me, and two, to let them know I am happy and to brighten their day. A lot of time this leads to a friendly conversation and allows me to teach someone about alopecia that had never heard of it!
To embrace what makes you different.
This is my favorite one.
Embrace your flaws, embrace your imperfections, embrace your inner beauty, embrace what makes you different. You will be a more well liked and happier person. No one wants to be friends with the person who spends all of their time trying to be like everyone else. Yet, everyone wants to be friends with the person who is unapologetically themselves, because they are strong and kind and they see people for for who they really are.
I had a boss at my previous job tell me to ‘make bald my brand’. That stuck with me, to a certain extent I think I had already been doing that, but had not thought about it in that way. I have applied that advice to various areas of my life and it is no different here. Naming this blog after me being bald, that is embracing what makes me different, and hey… I bet you'll remember me for it. No other travel related blog looks like this, but then again no one else is me.
Passing it on
I think the most rewarding experience that has come out of my alopecia has been the opportunity to guide and mentor other people with the same condition.
Wether I knew them personally or they found me on social media. I have been able to help people get comfortable with the notion that alopecia does not have to run their life. That anyone who thinks less of them or doesn’t want to date them is no one deserving of their time or energy anyways! I've been able to help them have fun with alopecia, wether it be make up, wigs, headbands.. embrace it!
I will never ever ever, like ever, forget the first email I received from someone thanking me for taking the time to listen, understand, and help them. I had given advice to her a whole year earlier.. when she emailed me saying I had changed her life. That since talking to me she had been able to embrace her alopecia, tell her friends, and start to be comfortable in her own skin. I knew right then that this is why I had been dealt the hand I had, to help people like her, realize just how amazing, beautiful and strong they are!
I don't know where I would be without Alopecia. In a way I feel lucky it found me. I feel lucky for all of the things it has been able to teach me.
I can thank Alopecia for allowing me to find a strength I had never known. Being stripped of my hair pushed me to discover who I truly am. It has taught me to be authentically myself, and no one else. I am proud of who I am and how strong I have become.
Alopecia has been my best friend, it is with me everyday and serves as a wonderful reminder of how bad ass we can truly be, if only we allow it.
Feel free to send me a message in the below contact box! What was your favorite part of this post? Any questions?I would love to hear from you!
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