A TRAVEL ROMANCE - PART 3 OF 3
A TRAVEL ROMANCE
That one more week I had in Roatan... yeah that turned into two.
And every day I woke up thinking this couldn't get any better
And every day
It did.
There was never a dull moment. We had so much fun.
We couldn't get enough.
We spent a lot of time listening to music, laughing, exploring the island, being in the water. I made him find the only bar in Roatan that would play the Ohio State game for me, although we had to switch to the Auburn game on commercial breaks..
We went out with our friends and I even got AD on the dance floor.. something he claims to have never done before, and those dance moves.. pure entertainment.
But my favorite AD first was his debut to karaoke!! He sang Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd, a song that couldn't better describe him. He was SO nervous, it was quite adorable, but he absolutely nailed it. I was impressed. When he got off the stage and found his way to me he said..
"Thank you, I would never have done that if it were not for you, thank you woman.
Hell that was fun, I want to do it again!"
We made friends with strangers, ate way too many baleadas and had midnight sprinting matches down West End.. I won. A couple local guys spectated, laughing when I was able to out sprint him saying "You like Usain Bolt girl"
We spent a lot of time with my friends, his friends, our friends. I loved that. It was not just us everyday. I liked the fact that we had so much fun not just on our own, but with our friends.
And whenever we were in a crowded room, he found little ways to let me know he was thinking of me.
In the sake of all honesty..
I began writing the first AD post as it was happening. I would go home and make notes about it each day or two. Pretty much the same for post 2.
Obviously I had no idea at the time what this would turn into.
I am finding it much harder to write part 3. I think because it transcends the playful manner of the first two.
It goes into feelings and conversations and experiences that are just for Daniel and I to know. Things I couldn't really articulate even if I wanted to.
My last 14 days there were absolutely incredible...
We learned each other's secrets, figured out why each is guarded and had countless conversations. Easy ones, fun ones, sad ones, vulnerable ones, difficult ones, and then extremely difficult ones.
While those things are just for him and I to know I can say this...
Daniel and I,
It just works.
I spent a lot of time getting in my own head about us. Reasons why this was too far-fetched to work, that we come from vastly different worlds to ever be sustainable. Or feeling like this was too good to be true, that it wasn't real, letting my fears and past ghosts creep in.
There are things about Daniel on paper that I would have said a hard no too.But there are a million things about Daniel that could never be articulated on paper, incredible things, little things, that I could have never dreamed up existed.
And I am realizing, that those unique, rare, wonderful little things are the ones that are truly important.
Those are the ones that are special.
Those are the ones you truly want.
Those are the ones that I believe make a relationship last.
Not your job, not your appearance, not where you are from.
Not where you have been.. but where you are going.
Conventional means nothing.
Normal means nothing.
(Two things I have never wanted to be anyways)
I had to learn to let myself succumb to every feeling, to listen to my gut, and to let it happen.
With Daniel..
I never once questioned being myself. I instantaneously felt safe with him. It was a few weeks into it, that I looked back and actually realized this. I thought wow, I never once thought to worry about what I say around him, how I act, what I look like, what I am wearing, or if I have any make up on. And not once did I wonder if he looked at me as the bald girl.
I was never the bald girl to him, not even for 2 minutes.
I was always just me.
He instantaneously saw me. Straight into me. All of me. He has Jedi powers or something because it was almost super natural.
It's magnetic, it's intense, it's passionate
It's absolutely wonderful
I've never had someone be so wonderful with me.
The moment I knew
We were sitting somewhere. Watching the sun go down when Daniel looked up at my head, then at me and said..
“You missed a spot”
While sometimes I have no hair growth on my scalp, other times I get patches of hair that grow back. I shave those.
“Haha, yeah I usually miss a spot” - me
“I could shave your head. I’d like too. If you’d like...”
I'm not one to be at a loss for words. But I sure did stumble over them here.
This would be a very intimate thing for me to share. It’s hard for me to explain why. But the fact that this thought had crossed his mind, that he wanted to take the time to share in that with me, well.. it blew me away.
He set up shop, put some music on, and put that blade to my head, neither of us saying a word.
I’d never felt more attracted to someone, I’d never felt more myself, I’d never felt more safe, I’d never been happier.
Daniel always finds a way to be the highlight of my day.
But I'm not in Roatan anymore.
I left.
I have this dream of mine. To travel the world. To test my limits.
The goodbye had no tears, it was emotionless, it was empty. Each of us far too gutted to even cope.
He put me in a cab.
I turned for one last glance
And I was gone.
I don't know where Daniel and I will go...
however
Regardless of whatever does or doesn't happen...
Daniel was a beautiful reminder that anything can happen.
Life can change in an instant.
That is powerful. That is inspiring. That is hopeful.
A reminder that life is full of rude little interruptions.
My mother always told me beautiful things will happen when I least expect it.
That someone will come along, and they will cause you to break all your rules and tear down your walls.
She'll be thrilled to know she was right, and even more thrilled to get it in writing in such a public forum..
(Shout out to MJ)
But she was right
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world, but with him I know it's no good.
The Colleen that stepped foot off that Ferry day 1 never saw this coming, and she'll never be the same.
As much as I didn't see this coming, Daniel will argue he didn't see it coming 100 times more than I didn't. He'll fight me to the death on that. And I'll let him win that argument.
Because I don't care.
He is the best thing that's ever been mine.
We decided two things before I left
1. We would continue to chase after our big dreams, his to become a dive master/instructor, mine to travel.
2. My last day in Roatan would not be the last time we ever saw each other.
Then who knows, maybe it will be each other in our big dreams...
Thank you for all of the wonderful emails, messages and comments I have received on all of these posts..!
It took a lot at times to be so open; however, it was a great exercise for me and I think the sheer honesty is what everyone connected with so much.Special shout out to... MEG.. aka Match Maker Meg, for being my partner in crime and our biggest fan. Would not have been the same without you. My Editors.. Kathleen and Mother, for their patience with me when they would receive frantic phone calls from me. Especially my baby sister, who is wise beyond her years and really had to help her big sister through this one.. Daniel.. Being the best sport ever about me putting his life out there for everyone to see. That is not easy, he didn't love the idea but never once complained. All that mattered to him was that it was important to me. And for introducing me to our new favorite song ‘Lovin' You, Baby’ by Charles Bradley and making it ‘our song’ ... Sorry Taylor
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