Finding Peace and Strength in Ubud, Indonesia

What is an Ubud and how do you pronounce it? I dunno, but it is a jungle town in the middle of Bali known for healing and tranquillity.

SIGN ME UP... because I was in need of some serious healing of the heart, mind and soul.

Funny thing about life: it follows you wherever you go. Those insecurities and those stupid self doubts we all have, they do not just take a sabbatical when you do.

Lately, I found myself questioning myself, A LOT. (I tend to do this too much.. anyone else?)

Questioning where I was in life

What I should be doing

My relationships, love

Who I really wanted to be and how I was going to get there.

Questioning everything.

Letting all my little fears and doubt infiltrate into my brain like a freaking freight train.

I think this is what we call navigating life? I am not sure... but if someone could confirm that would be great.

UBER TO UBUD

I said goodbye and got into the car to Ubud, alone.

With more tears streaming down my face than I ever knew my body could produce.

My poor Uber driver. All attempts to control my tears failed miserably. I think I blurted out something like 'Im so sorry' before exploding into a total fit of hyperventilation and tears in the back of his car.

All my confusion, hurt, anger, sadness, doubt, fears and more came out in those tears, in front of a complete stranger.

Strangers can surprise you though.

This stranger was a young Balinese guy, younger than me. A few minutes in he apologized and said he needed to stop at the store quickly. (This does not faze me, drivers seem to have a habit of running errands on your dime in other parts of the world.) I am still sobbing when he returns with only a box of tissues, which he hands to me and says

'For you miss, I so sorry no have for you before'

I smile and just burst into laughter, to which he follows suit. As we sat there sharing a laugh together, I knew the tears were far from over, but I realized I was going to be okay.

Walking away from someone or something you love is never easy, but somewhere along the way I had lost myself, and I needed to find her.

Finding Peace in Ubud

For the first time, in a long time, I was alone again. Back to my solo traveling ways. A style of travel I had really fallen in love with. I was excited about the idea of re-entering that world. Excited to re discover my carefree nature and find an inner peace that I felt I had been missing.

I spent a week in Ubud doing yoga, drinking smoothies, and relaxing with Claire and her friend from Mexico who we conveniently called Tequila.

The week involved a lot of girl talk, daily $6 massages and just enjoying each others company. Claire was a friend I had technically just met, but being around her felt like being around an age-old friend. I am so grateful I live in a universe where these kind of people can find a way into your life.

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